I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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