Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
