A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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