you win again, gameday.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
