I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
