well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Rumble strips road head = magical
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
