the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize