How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
