I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
