as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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