the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
