Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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