Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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