Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
