I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
