ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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