what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
