So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
