Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
