South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm always down for nudity.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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