My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
