i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
