i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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