It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
