can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
