I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
