you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
