I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize