i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
