forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
