You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The Olympian is in my bed
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