btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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