Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
