We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
