I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
