Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
