week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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