mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i've created a new STD.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
