We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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