If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize