I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
