The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
