I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
