Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
