a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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