Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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