Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
