This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
