You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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