Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
