i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
