Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
