happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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