i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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