Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
