I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
