ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
