JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
