Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
