it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
