My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
