I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
