We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
