So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
