I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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